I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
