oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
