i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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