ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...

  (716): View more from New York

  what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  self-loathing.

  Fav 7 1412 3458

  share tweet
  

• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

  Fav 50 10895 1276

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.

  Fav 4 4072 1184

  share tweet
  

• (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

  Fav 4 2442 1026

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?

  Fav 12 2806 981

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

  Fav 4 1836 802

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER

  Fav 13 1982 924

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

  Fav 3 935 724

  share tweet
  

• (807): View more from Ontario

  It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.

  Fav 5 2551 878

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.

  Fav 5 584 868

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  drunk brunch me or lose me forever

  Fav 2 856 452

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (650): View more from California

  He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!

  Fav 1 253 84

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!

  Fav 2 44 22

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  (440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.

  Fav 0 15 33

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Panties = found

  Fav 0 52 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize