This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Randomize