Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
