So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
