All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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