Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Randomize
