New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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