whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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