so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
