i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize