would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
