not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
