dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
