The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
