I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
