# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
