Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
