i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
