Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
