If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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