how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
