I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
