A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Shame - the story of my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
