Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
