Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
