Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
