Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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