you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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