Can Purell be used as lube?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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