Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
