make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize