he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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