if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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