maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
