I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
