I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Rumble strips road head = magical
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
