i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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