so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
