i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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