I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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