this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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