Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
