If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
