dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
