I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
