break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
