So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think people are normalizing furries
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
