okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
