When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
