I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
