I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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