he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There r osticjed everywhere
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
