i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think my fart just growled at me.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
