Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
