im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
