he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
