oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
