my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
