I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
